The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
