I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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