Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
