I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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