is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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