do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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