I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
