I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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