She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This baby is an asshole
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
