I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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