If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
