Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
this will be a night to untag.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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