my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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