If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
