if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
