My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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