I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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