Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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