sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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