Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
