does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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