Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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