dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
