i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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