My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
