she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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