Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
