I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
