I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
