Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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