I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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