apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
