Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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