Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
