How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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