whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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