im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
