I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
