i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
