did you get engaged???
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we made out on top of his cat.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
