He felt like a one man threesome
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
