i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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