Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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