first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
