White coat. Heels.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
