Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
