carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
