Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
