yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
