Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
