i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Randomize