Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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