wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
