yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
