I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
