he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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