This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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